'Be happy for this moment, this moment is your life'

What a lovely quote, I find such strength in reading quotes and finding lovely quote pictures when I am feeling a bit low. This week I'd say has been 80% happiness and 20% sadness which is pretty good going. Even the sadness bit was quick and after a chat and a cuddle, I felt a lot better. Is it funny how when you are feeling down, all you really need to hear is someone say that everything is okay. It's alright to feel like that sure, but I will not let it be a big part of my life. I am happy for it to stay in the background. In terms of events in my life this week it has been pretty standard although yesterday I did go for a lovely visit to my new school, met the staff, saw my classroom, met my teacher, had a tour...it was all quite overwhealming but at the same time, put me at ease for September! My anxiety breeds with change so the two aren't great together. So to at least have seen a glimpse of what is to come and has made me feel much more relaxed. I am excited to work with an age group I have never been with before, Year 1, which is 5-6 year olds.

I feel very priviledged to have the job that I do. Working as a teaching assistant, you can see children change and grow on a daily basis, it is incredibly rewarding to know that at least you have played a small part in that. I have thought over in my mind about whether I may want to go back to teacher training in the future. I have been working as  TA for more than 18 months now and I have to say, it is one of the best jobs in the world. If you can deal with the £13,000 a year salary (I am lucky I live at home with my Mum and Michael) then it is such a great career. Plus the holidays and be able to leave before 4pm are massive bonuses!

As some of you may know, in 2010 I began a PGCE but decided to leave after about 8 weeks. It was a massive decision for me but I don't regret it for one second because at the time (and still now, probably) I was not ready to make the commitment to be a teacher. To be honest, I should have really thought it through a lot more before embarking on the process but we learn from our mistakes and in the end I am stronger for it. However that doesn't mean I wouldn't rule out being a teacher in the future-perhaps in 4 or 5 years time when I have grown stronger emotionally and finacially...then I could do it. I could do it now most probably but I am so happy being a teaching assistant, what is the point? For a higher wage? I manage pretty well on my wage due to my extreme frugleness and deal-hunting ways.  So for now I will keep doing what I am doing. 

Who knows what will happen in years to come? I may find myself choosing motherhood as a career as that is what I want the most. Or my book (which is slow in progress....writers block!) may be a massive hit and I can live off that. We can all dream. All I know is that I am pretty damn lucky. I have a fantastic job, a great support system, a very loving relationship....what is not to be happy about? I find myself fearing the unknown, fearing what will happen in the future but why can't I just concentrate on the here and now? Someone wise once said, "Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live." That is a real quote to live by!

xoxo